


Sweater Weather

by SicVitaEst



Category: Midsomer Murders - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Dad!John, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mentions of Murder/Death, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sickfic, Smoking, Swearing, bi!jamie, no beta we die like men, please check chapter summaries for additional trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SicVitaEst/pseuds/SicVitaEst
Summary: Jamie has just gone through a messy breakup and started to get sick at work.
Relationships: Jamie Winter/Original Character(s), John Barnaby/Sarah Barnaby
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	1. Tired

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter inspired by the prompt “Did you get any sleep last night?” by whumpster-dumpster on tumblr

For the last ten minutes John Barnaby had been watching his sergeant, who had been attempting to read the same page for the same amount of time. John shook his head slightly and spoke up. “Did you get any sleep last night?”.

Jamie looked up from that dastardly page to meet his boss’ eyes. “Sir?”.

“You look shot. Go home Winter.” John said this in a commanding tone, but he couldn’t help the hints of worry that seeped in.

“I’m fine sir, just this paperwork...” Jamie trailed off.

John nodded in understanding. They’d just finished a case, which meant they now had no evidence but to sit down and tackle the mountain of paperwork they both had.

“As long as you are sure.” He didn’t like the idea of the younger man staying at work when he so obviously needed time away, but what could he do? The Superintendent wouldn’t like it if he sent the sergeant home on the grounds that ‘he was tired’. There was no chance that Jamie was going to admit he needed a break, so he’d have to let it go.

After a couple of hours, it was lunch time and Jamie looked no better. In fact, if John was being honest, he looked like he was about to drop. Jamie caught John watching him and spoke out. “Sir? What is it?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you really need to sleep. Do I need to order you to go home?”

Jamie chuckled slightly. “No sir, I promise I’m okay. Coffee?” He raised his mug to his boss, who nodded. So he stood up, wobbling slightly, before grabbing John’s mug and heading to the station coffee pot.

John watched the sergeant leave. He saw Jamie looking like he was about to pass out. Fleur walked into the office and watched, in slight amusement, as John stared at the doorway.

“Is there something particularly interesting about that door John?”

His head snapped up at the sound of Fleur’s voice.

“What? No.”

“Right... Anyway I need you to sign this paperwork from the last case so I can file it ASAP.”

John took the paperwork and started signing. Jamie walked in with the coffee and nodded a hello to Fleur as she left. He looked at the DCI questioningly. “She just needed some paperwork.”

“Oh fun.” Jamie replied sarcastically, and John laughed. ‘At least the boy still has his sense of humour.’ He thought to himself.

—-

A text notification broke the silence that had fallen over the two as the worked. Jamie picked up his phone, took one look at the screen and chucked it back onto the table. No more than a minute later his phone went off again. He deliberately ignored the text, which resulted in the phone ringing. He shot his boss an apologetic look. John waved him off, so he answered the call and left the office for some privacy.

“What do you want?” He answered angrily.

“I just wanted to talk to you.” The voice on the other end answered.

Jamie rubbed his face with his free hand and pushed the door open to the outside smoking area. It was empty, so he sat down on one of the benches.

“Why? You fucked up.” Jamie was getting slightly irritated at the fact they had the nerve to call him during work.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry babe-.”

Jamie cut the caller off by hanging up. He sighed and rubbed his temples. He could feel a headache coming on. After a couple of minutes, he stood up and made his way back inside.

“Everything alright Winter?” John’s concern for the younger man was rising with every minute that passed, but he tried to keep his display of these emotions to a minimum.

“Yes sir, sorry about that. Just some err-“ he didn’t know what to tell his boss, “just some family drama. Nothing to worry about.” Jamie’s attempt at reassuring Barnaby was broken by a coughing fit. Bending forward slightly, he continued to cough into his hand. John jumped out of his chair and over to his sergeants aide. Rubbing Jamie’s back, he was at a loss of what to do. Eventually, the coughing subsided and Jamie was left leaning back in his chair gasping for air.

“Right, you’re going home. You’re obviously sick and you need rest.”

“Sir, it’s only half an hour til our shift is over anyway.” Jamie’s voice was croaky and John winced slightly at how painful it sounded. He sighed and sat back down at his desk. Jamie was like Betty in the sense that they were both extremely stubborn when it came to doing things they did not want to do.

“I’m sure your paperwork can wait until Monday. Now go before I tell Sarah. She’ll want to mother you and she won’t leave you alone.”

Jamie raised his hands in surrender and grabbed his jacket and bag.

“See you soon sir.”

“Take care of yourself Winter.”

—-

Jamie was walking up the stairs to his flat when he spotted a figure at the door. Once he recognised the person, his anger from before pushed down any illness he had been feeling.

“Jamie, I’m so glad to see you.”

“What are you doing at my flat Mike? We are done. What part of ‘never contact me again’ do you not understand?” If this were a cartoon, there would be steam coming from Jamie’s ears. He was not in the mood for this argument again, especially not when he was coming down with something.

“Jay, look-“

“Do not call me that!”

“I’m sorry for what I did. Look, I love you and I really regret what I did.”

“Oh you love me? That’s rich! If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have fucking cheated on me with some random asshole from your office. Now I want you to leave, or I will make you. Remember I’m a copper.” He was positively fuming at this point.

The other man just glared at Jamie and left. Once Mike was out of his sight, Jamie unlocked his door went inside. Dumping his bag on the sofa and his keys on the coffee table, he headed straight to his bedroom before he all but collapsed on the bed and fell into a feverish sleep.


	2. Take Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slight mention of abuse so please be careful.

Jamie was rudely awoken by the muffled ringing of his phone that currently resided in his blazer, which so happened to be in a heap on the floor. He groaned and rolled off the bed, landing on the floor with a soft thump. Reaching out with one arm, he rooted around in the blazer until he found the phone and answered without looking at the caller id.

“Hello?” His voice croaked as he spoke and he inwardly cringed at how disgusting it sounded.

“Jamie? Oh thank goodness you answered. I’ve already called twice and I was starting to get worried.” The sound of Sarah’s voice passed through the phone’s speakers. He quickly looked at the screen to see that it was indeed the boss’s wife calling. And it was 11am on Saturday morning. He’d really slept for that long?

“Oh hi Sarah. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up, I was in another room and couldn’t hear my phone.” He hated how easy he was finding it to lie to people recently.

“Well as long as you’re okay...” Her voice was hesitant, she didn’t believe Jamie one bit but she decided to let it go for now. “Anyway I called to ask if you’d be up for coming over tonight. John got a new barbecue last week and he wants to test it out and invite you and Fleur round.”

Jamie made a face at the thought of having to leave the surprising comfortable floor, but replied back anyway. “Yeah of course. What time?” He winced as he felt a sharp stabbing pain in his head. Great, another headache, he thought to himself.

“We were thinking about 6? Does that work for you?”

“Yeah that’s fine.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Jamie closed his eyes for a minute to prepare himself in for the fact he was actually going to have to move. After a few moments, he rolled over and pushed himself up to a standing position. If he was to actually pass as a living human being, he’d have to get up and shower. Sighing, he grabbed a towel and some clean clothes and headed to his shower.

—-

After 10 minutes of effectively just staring at the wall, he shut the shower off and dried himself. He got changed into the black skinny jeans and plain black t-shirt. His phone went off, indicating he had a text. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the bedside table and grabbed the phone. Seeing who the text was from, he had to resist the urge to throw the phone at a wall. Why couldn’t Mike just leave him alone. And why was Jamie feeling sorry for him, he had no right to sympathy. He was the asshole who cheated. He was the one who screamed at Jamie when Jamie walked in on him and Mike’s best friend from work. He was the one who laid a hand on him. Jamie thanked whoever was listening that it all happened on his week off, explaining that to his boss... well that was not a conversation he ever wanted to have.

He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts. Jamie was already feeling crappy, he didn’t need to make it worse. Picking up the phone again, he blocked Mike’s number and all social media’s. Hopefully he could finally get rid of him.

Checking the time, he saw he still had at least 6 hours until he need to be at the Barnaby’s, so he settled down onto his sofa with a hot cup of tea and painkillers. Hopefully time would pass quickly and he’d be in somewhat of a better state for socialising.

—-

Currently, Jamie was sitting in his car, parked outside the Barnaby’s house. He was a few minutes late, but surprisingly he couldn’t find the energy to care. Unbuckling his seatbelt and grabbing the wine bottle on the passenger seat, Jamie took a deep breath and got out of the car. As he reached the front door, it opened to reveal Sarah smiling and waving him in. Paddy jumped up at his knees, greeting Jamie as he walked into the back garden.

“Hey Winter.” John acknowledged Jamie’s presence before eagerly getting back to the barbecue.

Jamie nodded a hello to Fleur right before something barrelled into his legs. Looking down, he smiled softly at seeing it was Betty. “Uncle Jamie.” She grinned. Sarah came and took Betty off of Jamie, sending him an apologetic look. He just shook his head and smiled, telling her he didn’t mind.

A few minutes later, John announced that the burgers were done and they all sat down to eat.

“So did you get that ‘drama’ sorted?” John asked.

“Huh? Oh err yeah. All sorted. Nothing to worry about now.” Jamie’s quick and seemingly apathetic reply caused that nagging feeling of worry John felt yesterday to return, slightly stronger than before. He shared a look of concern with his wife, and she nodded as if to say that she’d speak to him later.

After they finished eating, Fleur stood and announced she had to leave. The group said their goodbyes and she left. John started to pack the barbecue away and Jamie helped Sarah carry the dishes in from outside. Luckily, Betty had gone to bed before Fleur left, so this allowed Sarah to talk to Jamie with no interruptions.

“Now John isn’t here, are you gonna tell me what’s really up with you?”

“What? Nothing is wrong with me. Just feeling a little bit tired and sick.”

Sarah didn’t believe that at all, and decided enough was enough. She finished putting the last plate into the dishwasher and turned to Jamie, leading him into the living room. The pair sat down and Sarah spoke again, this time with a certain sternness in her voice. “Wanna try that again? Even John has noticed that ever since you had your week off from work, you’ve been different. We are just concerned and we want to help.”

Jamie’s headache grew. He was too ill to deal with this right now.

“There’s nothing to help, because nothing happened. I’m fine. Everything else is fine.” His smile was weak, and Sarah saw right through it.

“You know, we can’t help you unless you are honest with us-“

“No. Just no.” He stood up to leave. Jamie felt bad about cutting Sarah off like that, especially when she was only trying to help, but he just needed to get out of there before he spilled what happened.

John had finished outside with the barbecue and walked in just in time to see Jamie flinch away from Sarah and standing up to leave. “Woah, what’s going on?”

“Nothing sir, something came up. I gotta go.” Jamie all but ran to the front door and left.

John and Sarah were frozen in their places at Jamie’s outburst.

“John...”

“Sarah, what happened?”

“I have no idea. I was trying to talk to him. All I wanted to do was make sure he was okay and that he knew he could rely on us if he needed, but he started to get all cagey when I asked him. I’m really worried John.”

John just wrapped his wife in a loving embrace and tried his best to reassure her. He was going to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with the young sergeant.


	3. Worried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/referenced abuse.

It had been two days since Jamie’s outburst at the Barnaby’s, and he was regretting how he spoke to Sarah. Hooking his jacket on the coatrack in the office, he sat down and switched the computer on. Jamie was dreading John’s arrival, he feared the inevitable talk that John was going to make them both have. At least he was feeling better. Jamie thanked his lucky stars that the slight illness, that he decided was triggered, had cleared up and he could actually think straight.

However, it seemed that his luck ended there, as John had just arrived. Jamie internally panicked as they both made eye contact. He quickly diverted his attention back to his computer, which had finally finished installing whatever update popped up when he turned it on. Logging on, he held his breath as John started talking.

“You feeling better now Winter?” He was quite obviously talking about Jamie being sick, Jamie couldn’t help but feel there was some kind of underlying meaning.

“Perfectly well sir. How was your weekend?” He was hesitant to ask, but he didn’t want to appear rude.

“It was good. Sarah and I spent it worrying about you though.”

An awkward silence followed. How the hell was Jamie supposed to reply to that?

Scratching the back of his neck, he spoke, “uhh yeah, sorry about that sir. I was just frustrated with being sick, that’s all. But it was no excuse to speak to you and Sarah like that, I really am sorry.”

John just raised an eyebrow at Jamie’s response, he did not believe that it was just him ‘being sick’, but he decided to let it go for now. It was no use getting the younger man all worked up again.

“It’s all right Winter, we get it. You might want to phone Sarah at some point, she will want to make sure you’re all right.”

Jamie just responded with an awkward nod of appreciation and both men returned back to their work.

—-

Around lunchtime, a uniformed officer appeared at Jamie’s desk. “Sarge, there’s someone here to see you. I didn’t tell them you were here just in case you were busy, I just said I’d see if you were.”

“Thanks Ken. Did you get a name?”

“Oh yes, sorry Sarge. Said his name was Michael Dawkins and that he was a friend of yours.”

At hearing that name, Jamie visibly flinched. This sudden movement was not lost on John, and he decided to file away all the questions and concerns he had until later, where he could deal with them at a more appropriate time. Jamie looked at John briefly, asking for permission to sort this out, and he agreed with a nod of his head.

“Would you mind telling Mr Dawkins that I’ll be down in a minute?”

“No problem.” And with that, the officer left. Jamie was starting to regret agreeing to speak to Mike, especially at work. This was getting a little ridiculous now, visiting him at work? Hadn’t Jamie made his feelings known? He used some very strong language the last time they spoke, Mike should’ve gotten the hint.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up and went down to the reception area, not daring to make eye contact with any of his colleagues. Spotting Mike standing by the front desk, he put on a stern face and motioned for Mike to follow him outside. They stood to the left of the entrance, near the car park and Jamie leaned against the wall and waited for Mike to speak. When he didn’t, Jamie spoke to him in a purposely bitchy voice. “You have ten seconds to start talking or I’m going back inside and reporting you for harassment and wasting police time.”

Apparently this was the wrong tone to take, because Mike suddenly got angry and stepped forward, closing the gap between the two slightly. Jamie tried not to let it show, but this movement terrified him. He stood tall and listened to Mike’s aggressive reply. “You and I, we were good together. You can’t just get all sensitive over one little slip up. What are you? A wimp.”

Jamie had no idea what to say. Realistically, he knew that he should tell him to go away and report the threatening behaviour, but he was too terrified to even move. So he settled for just trying to get Mike to leave in the least confrontational way he could. “Look, we aren’t together anymore. Leave me alone. Do us both a favour and don’t talk to me again.”

Mike looked like he was considering what Jamie had said. After what felt like forever, he finally reacted. He shoved Jamie hard into the wall he’d been leaving against and left. When Mike had left the premises, Jamie finally let out the breath he had been holding. He ran a hand over his face in a weak attempt to stop himself from crying. Heading round the corner towards the smoking shelter, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, unaware of the concerned figure who had seen most of the interaction.

—-

Sarah had decided to drop by the station on her break to drop off lunch for her husband. Grabbing the bag containing the food, she locked her car and turned towards the entrance when she spotted Jamie out of the corner of her eye. She was about to head over and say hello when the man he had been talking to suddenly seemed to take on an aggressive stance. Sarah watched as the two men argued back and forth. When she saw the mystery man attack Jamie, she couldn’t help but gasp. The man left and she watched concerned as Jamie pulled out a packet of cigarettes and headed round the corner. Jamie smoked? That was surprising, she thought. Instead of going after him, she decided it would be best to talk to her husband. This wasn’t something she could ignore, that man hurt Jamie and she had a feeling there was something deeper going on here.

“John.”

John stood up at the sight of his extremely agitated wife. Concerned, he guided her over to a spare chair next to his desk.

“Sarah, not that I don’t appreciate your presence, but why are you here? And what’s wrong?”

“I came to drop you off some lunch because I got an early break, and I saw Jamie outside a minute ago. He seemed to be having some kind of argument with a guy, who was getting really aggressive. Jamie looked genuinely terrified of this guy, and the guy shoved him. He hurt Jamie! When the guy left, Jamie started smoking.” Sarah was talking quickly and John barely caught what she said.

“The guy hurt Winter? Dammit! A uniformed officer came in about fifteen minutes ago and told him he had a visitor. He was visibly uncomfortable at the idea of going to talk to the guy, but I let him go anyway.” John took a deep breath. “I should’ve stopped him.” The last sentenced was muffled slightly as he put his head in his hands.

Sarah put a hand on his shoulder in an effort to comfort him. “I don’t think it’s your fault love. He is obviously in some kind of trouble, and maybe we can offer a helping hand. Make him feel he can come to us and we can help him out.”

“But how? If we are too direct like before, he will shut us out. And something is telling me this is serious.”

“We will think of something hun, don’t worry.” She wrapped her husband in a quick hug and pecked his cheek.

Just as she pulled away, Jamie walked in, smelling of cologne he’d obviously sprayed to get rid of the smell of smoke. He looked surprised and slightly worried to see Sarah there.

“Oh hi Sarah, sorry about the other day. I was getting frustrated with being ill and I shouldn’t have took it out on you.”

Sarah did not believe the lie any more than John did when he heard it earlier, but now was not the time to investigate. Instead, she just looked at him sympathetically. “Are you okay Jamie? You seem... a little on edge.”

“Oh yes, I’m fine don’t worry.” He let out a nervous laugh and sat down at his desk.

The couple shared a look, before Sarah announced she had to go back to work. When she left, John got up and walked over to Jamie’s desk. “Was everything okay with your visitor? You were gone for quite a while.”

Jamie suddenly became very nervous and started to shake. “I’m sorry sir, I didn’t mean to.” His voice wavered as he spoke, and John was starting to form some kind of idea as to what was going on.

“Hey, it’s okay, just wandered where you went is all. Are you sure you’re okay though? Sarah saw you arguing with some guy.”

“It’s fine sir.” Jamie’s voice was cold. The sudden changes in his behaviour concerned John even more. He went back to his own desk and tried to get his mind off of the younger man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But of a lengthy filler chapter. Sorry guys 🤷🏻♀️


	4. Oh No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cw: mentioned of murder/violence.

The end of the day couldn’t come quickly enough for Jamie. The two detectives were packing up, ready to go home, when they got a call that a body had been found in Aspern Tallow. Sighing, Jamie put down his bag and grabbed the car keys. John and Jamie headed out to the car together. The car was silent for the first part of their journey. They hadn’t been given much information on the case so there was no chatter about first impressions or theories. After what felt like forever, they arrived at a very beautiful looking cottage. Well it was beautiful if you disregarded the bloody body laying in the front garden. Both men looked at each other with an expression of disgust before they walked up to where Fleur and the crime techs were milling about. Jamie went off to talk to uniform to get the details whilst John was briefed on the body.

“What’s happened then Fleur?”

“Well hello to you too.” She responded sarcastically, before continuing. “Young male, late 20s. Not sure on the personal details, you’ll have to speak to uniform. Cause of death will have to be confirmed when I get him on the table, but it probably has something to do with the several stab wounds in his back.” She rolled the man onto his side to show John the source of the blood that covered the grass.

“Definitely attacked from behind then?”

“I’d say so.” Fleur rolled the body onto his back and shooed John away so she could continue to work.

He walked over to Jamie who had just finished speaking to a PC. “Winter, what have you got?”

Checking his notebook, the younger man replied, “Travis Hanks, 28. Works as a photographer at a studio in Causton. He lives alone in this cottage, that he’d recently inherited in his Father’s will. No enemies. He mostly keeps to himself when in the village, only talks to people at his work. Best friend is Jason McGee, who also happened to find the body.”

“Right then, when did the father die?”

“Umm, about 6 months ago. Natural causes.”

“Anyone spoken to the best friend yet?”

“Uniform spoke to Mr McGee briefly when they first arrived on the scene, but he was too shaken up to tell us much.”

“Where is he? We should speak to him.”

“Sitting in the kitchen, uniform gave him a cup of tea to calm him down.”

“Let’s go.”

—-

Speaking to the friend brought nothing to light, so John decided to call it a day. They wouldn’t get anything from the lab until at least tomorrow morning, and same with the post mortem. With no leads, there was nothing for them to do. As they drove back to Causton, it started to absolutely hammer it down with rain. Jamie groaned and leant his arm against the window. Ironic, he thought, how the weather matched his current emotions. John was carefully watching Jamie through the corner of his eye, as well as keeping an eye on the road. The silence was going from comfortable to slightly awkward, so John decided he may as well start interrogating Jamie.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s really going on with you?”

John’s question shocked Jamie, who immediately sat up straight in his seat. Starting straight forward, he replied carefully. “No idea what you’re talking about Sir.”

John inwardly sighed in frustration. He really was a stubborn one wasn't he? “Look I wasn’t lying when I said Sarah saw you arguing with some guy. I was hoping you knew that you could come to me if you were ever in trouble, but obviously you don’t. I’m going to be frank here Winter, she saw this guy hurt you. If you are in trouble, you need to tell me. As both a professional and a personal courtesy. I’m worried about you Winter.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. How was he supposed to explain to his boss he was being harassed by an ex? And who was also a male? The idea of coming out to the inspector was absolutely terrifying. Also there was the fact that he was absolutely terrified of this man.

John could see that Jamie was freaking out internally, and he was torn between leaving the poor lad be and pushing for answers. They still had a little time left before they reached Causton, so he opted for the latter. Case be damned, he’d get to the bottom of this. “I’ll take your silence as an admission. What’s troubling you? And I’m not going to take ‘I’m fine’ as an answer.”

He was not getting out of this, but maybe he could at least delay the inevitable. He could feed his boss small bits of information, not lies as such, but tiny vague parts of the truth. That could buy him some time.

“It’s just... that guy... he... he was an old friend. We had a disagreement a while ago and he was just trying to get me to hear him out. But I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.”

John immediately wanted to call bullshit, but he bit his tongue. Insulting the younger man wouldn’t get him anywhere. “Sarah said you looked terrified.”

Jamie just huffed and stared out of the window. He couldn’t come up with anything to say to his boss that wouldn’t ‘incriminate’ him further.

—-

John decided it would be easier if he just dropped the sergeant off and picked him up tomorrow, rather than going back to the station. They reached Jamie’s block of flats, and he got out of the car mumbling a short goodbye before heading into his flat. John watched the younger man until he disappeared from view. Sighing, he drove to back to his own home. John hope he could get through to Jamie, before something disastrous happened.


	5. That Was Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: blood, violence

The few days following were spent talking to family members of the victim, and John went to talk to the victim’s coworkers. Tension between Jamie and John could’ve been cut with a knife. To Jamie’s credit, he kept entirely professional. John internally thanked Jamie for not making a big deal about what had happened in the car a few nights ago, however he couldn’t help but miss the jokes Jamie would crack to lighten the mood, or the sarcastic comments about John’s age. Now that definitely showed John that there was definitely something wrong with him.

At about 4pm, Jamie’s phone rang. John watched the younger man curiously as he spoke. When he hung up, John just raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“That was the tech boys, they finally got into the victims laptop and found a file of ‘interest’. They’re sending it over to me now.”

He pulled the file up when his emails loaded and John leaned over his shoulder to look. The file contained several pictures, all taken with professional quality. They seemed to be of Jason McGee standing in some shady looking alleyway, and in some of them there was an unidentified hooded figure.

“Possible drug deal sir?”

“Certainly looks like it. We need to find out who the mystery person is. Ask if they can get an id. And let’s go talk to Jason again, it’s obvious he took these photos with his own camera, which was missing it’s original SD card .”

Jamie got up and headed out of the office without saying another word. John just sighed and followed.

—-

Unfortunately, their questioning of Jason didn’t go so well. They started off confronting him about the photos, then he confirmed their suspicions by making a run for it. Jamie immediately got up and went after him. Yet again, it was raining which made running through the woods chasing a suspect a whole lot more difficult for Jamie to keep his footing. Seemed like Jason was having the same trouble, he slipped and fell down, tripping Jamie up as well. Both men fell and rolled down the small hill. John was quite a way away from the two, having stopped to phone for backup. So he did not see Jason McGee pull out the knife from his jacket pocket, and he did not see him stab Jamie with it. But when he saw Jason run back up the hill with no Jamie in tow, he started to realise something was wrong. By the time he had reached the hill, he could hear sirens behind him and see Jason running away. Still no Jamie. John’s foot brushed against something, so he bent down to pick it up.

The second he saw the knife, his heart dropped. It was bloody. He’d hurt Jamie. At this realisation, he looked down and saw his sergeant. He shouted back to the uniformed officers who’d just entered the woods and started down the hill.

“Winter!” He called out to Jamie, who was laying terrifyingly still at the bottom. When he didn’t reply, John moved even faster to get to his side. He could sense the uniformed officers getting closer, but he paid no mind to them as he fumbled to put pressure on the wound. The amount of blood pouring from between his fingers made John sick to his stomachs. Four officers ran down the hill and passed him in pursuit of Jason, and two officers stopped at his side. One radioed for an ambulance and the other passed John a cloth to press on the wound.

“Come on Jamie.” John whispered to himself. He heard a small groan coming from Jamie’s direction.

“Sir?” Jamie was slurring his words and John could barely understand him.

“Hey kiddo. Look I need you to stay awake for me okay.” John’s tone was soft and parent-like. If the uniformed officers heard John call Jamie that nickname, they didn’t mention it.

Jamie suddenly became very panicked, and started to move. John motioned for the other two to gently hold him down whilst he tried to calm him. “Hey. Woah. You need to calm down. Breath for me kiddo.”

Jamie either didn’t hear John or ignored him, because he continued to thrash about. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please.” His cries broke John’s heart, who was at a complete loss. But before he could say anything else, his hands were being pulled away from where they were applying pressure to the wound. A paramedic came into his field of vision and started to talk. He replied back monotonously and watched as Jamie put on a stretcher and carried to the ambulance.


	6. I’m Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: physical abuse, panic attacks
> 
> Cw: swearing
> 
> The *** signals the end of dream/flashback, for some reason the italics won’t work.

Jamie had just got home from work late, the last case’s paperwork had both him and John working up until 8pm. He opened the door, dumping his coat on his coat rack and heading into the kitchen. After rooting about in the cupboards, he decided that ordering a takeaway was his best bet. Jamie heard a noise from another room, and figured Mike was back.

“Hey babe, I was thinking we could order in ton-“ Jamie’s sentence was interrupted when he opened the door to his bedroom and saw Mike in bed with some guy from his office. The room was silent, you could hear a pin drop. Mike nudged the other guy, who quickly climbed out of the bed and ran out of the flat.

“Who the fuck was that?”

Mike looked slightly surprised at Jamie’s outburst. But that surprise turned to anger when he jumped out of the bed and started towards Jamie. “It was your fault you know? You never have time for me anymore. You pay more attention to your job than me. You can’t blame me for this.”

“My fault? You leapt into bed with some random asshole just because I’ve been doing my job? I warned you that my job had shitty hours. You constantly treat me like shit and quite frankly, I’m sickof it.” This was apparently the wrong thing for him to say, because Mike backed him up against the wall and grabbed his shirt, balling it up in his fist.

“Don’t you speak to me like that. You don’t get to speak to me like that.” Mike spat out these words with venom, and it honestly scared Jamie. Sure Mike had been a little aggressive towards him every now and again, but nothing like this.

“Look, I don’t think we should be together anymore. Maybe you should leave.” Jamie tried to hold his ground, but the shakiness of his voice betrayed him.

Mike kneed Jamie in the stomach then slammed him back up against the wall. “Why should I do that? You’re nothing without me. It will do you good to remember that.” With that, he threw Jamie to the ground and kicked him several times. He spat out profanities as Jamie kept pleading for him to stop.

“Winter?”

He thought he heard someone call his name, but that was impossible because...

“Winter? Jamie?”

  
***  
  


John had been sitting with Jamie ever since he’d gotten out of surgery. Fleur and Sarah had been visiting, making sure John was taking care of himself instead of just wallowing in guilt. He’d spend the last couple of hours by Jamie’s side blaming himself for what had happened, thinking he could have stopped it some how. Whilst Sarah and Fleur were getting coffee in the hospital cafeteria, Jamie’s heart monitor started to beep slightly faster, and Jamie himself was visibly panicking in his unconscious state. John deduced he was having some kind of nightmare, so he tried to wake him.

“Winter? Winter? Jamie?”

Jamie’s eyes started to open, and John sighed in relief. “Welcome back to the waking world Winter. We nearly missed you.” His weak attempt to lighten the mood worked, because Jamie cracked a small smile.

“What happened?”

“You took a tumble and the suspect got you with a knife. Don’t worry though, uniform got him and charged him. Turns out he did kill Travis Hanks.”

“Oh, so lots of paperwork waiting for me when I get back to work then?” Jamie’s expression was light and for a minute, both men forgot what was going on. A comfortable silence broke out, and John was going to finally question Jamie about why he’s been so weird the past couple of weeks, when the doctor walked in.

“Ah Mr. Winter, I see you are finally awake. My name is Dr. Palmer.” He paused, looking over the clipboard at the bottom of the bed. “You were very lucky, you lost a lot of blood but the blade did not cut through any vital organs. You will recover fully in a month or so. It is advised you don’t go back to work for at least two weeks. However there is another concern I would to talk to you about.”

Jamie just raised his eyebrow and looked at John, who had no idea either.

“Is it okay if we discuss this in front of your boss?” Jamie wordlessly agreed, not having any idea what this could be about. The doctor just nodded and continued. “We noticed during your surgery a number of bruises surrounding your torso and thighs. The bruises were in the end stages of healing, but we are also concerned by the evidence of untreated bruised ribs. Because of the placement of these injuries, we are inclined to ask how you gained them.”

Jamie’s heart dropped. He had no idea how he was supposed to explain this one. He looked at John, who just stared back at him.

“Jamie? What is the doctor talking about?”

Oh fuck, he called him Jamie. If John was calling him by his first name, it was serious and John was not going to let him weasel out of explaining this. At this point, he started to panic. His breathing sped up and he could see the doctor trying to get him to breath. He could see that Sarah and Fleur had walked in and were standing by the door looking terrified. Jamie could not hear what was being said; he could see their lips moving but could hear no words. An oxygen mask was put over his face and he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little rushed so I apologise for the bad writing. My brain decided to tell me that if I didn’t post this right away, something would happen. So here we are aha.

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna say a massive thank you to midsomer4life (tumblr) and neptunium134 (ao3&tumblr) for their kind words on my other MM fics. Also you should check them both out!


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